This Place Is A Trap

Dad hasn't let me out of the house since the moose thing happened. On one hand, I can speak freely for once now that Silas isn't over my shoulder constantly, but on the other...he memories of that other timeline haven't faded away. The one with the Tumblr blog. I haven't been able to stop thinking about it, even if it gives me a headache.  That other me...she was so alone. Her parents couldn't deal with her illness, she was bullied at school...Rei, Reina, and Entriken were all she had. They killed people to try and make themselves whole...that other me held such a deep hatred for people. It's so scary understanding exactly how she feels, understanding why she did what she did. If I could stop this from killing me by taking another life? Not gonna lie it'd be hard to say no to that.  ...Ashton, if you see this I'm sorry. For everything. I'm sorry for what we did to you, to Basic, to Laura, to everyone. If this makes you want to stop investigating with...

So...I found a dead moose on our porch today. A massive bull with antlers almost larger than me. It stank so bad I nearly threw up. Turns out that when things that large rot that much it smells like someone poured out a few pounds of rotting milk.  There was something carved into its side too. A symbol I think I've seen before. I can't quite remember where I might've seen it before. I copied it the best I could into the notes app on my phone before my dad came out and ushered me inside.  This feels like a warning, or maybe a threat (a promise?). Maybe not just for me, either. 

 ...Something's wrong.  Silas is really, really excited, but he won't tell me why.  The moon is wrong. I can't really describe it but the moon isn't right.  I'm scared. I think something is coming, something none of us expected, not even Silas. I think all of you might be in danger. Like, serious danger. Just...watch your backs, okay?

So...Silas has started inviting me to go to church meetings, which is apparently a huge honor. He says Payton will be there. Only problem is I am not allowed out of the house until my dad thinks it's safe.  Which is not going to happen any time soon.  Which...not the worst thing in the world I guess. Father Barrows is kind of weird and I'd rather learn stuff from Silas.  I still want to see if I can get Penumbra to talk to me at some point, if only to see what goes on inside his studio.  I have an opportunity coming up though. My dad has to be gone one night next week and I'll be able to sneak out. Only problem is if I go to the church thing I will be gone all night and probably won't make it to the radio station, so I can only do one. So I have to decide that. 

I don't know what to say, not gonna lie. Things are rapidly exploding around me and everything is falling apart. My mom is missing, my memory lapses are getting worse, Henny and Payton are still AWOL...I feel like I can't trust anyone. Not even you guys. Silas keeps telling me I need to stop posting here but...I don't know. He's probably right but something still doesn't feel right. People are still going missing and Silas won't answer any more of my questions.  I...also realized I never told you guys what Silas told me when we first met. All of the answers I got before everything went to shit. I'm not sure I should now, but I might anyways. If you guys want me to. 

i dont know what happened im covered in blood and i dont know what happened oh god what did i do oh god oh god oh god i dont know what i did i dont know whos blood this is

I would apologize for taking this long to address this but considering someone invaded my privacy and I can't correct that, I won't.  Anyways, in case you didn't realize, I did not post that last post. That was supposed to stay a draft and now for some reason it won't delete. I don't know why and I don't know how, considering a lot of that stuff is fucking IRRELEVANT to my investigation.  But...yeah. Since it's out and it's not going away, I guess I should address the elephant in the room since I know someone will ask about it.  I have a terminal illness. My parents won't tell me exactly what it is (which is just as awful as it sounds) but from what I understand it's neurological. Sometimes I forget things and other times it makes it hard to walk, so I have to use crutches. No, it's not fun, and no I don't know how long I have left. I don't like talking about it because people give me those stupid fucking pitying looks when they find ...